iamrhanriey's Xanga

Friday, June 29, 2007

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 00:56:30 GMT

Remine-sense

remember the days when you were nothing. remember the days when being nothing makes more sense than reality.. when responsibility is but a mere word.

~~~

a question...

why on earth am i named R..r..?! uurgh! of all the names in the world?! Robbie?! why?! why?! is this a big joke or what? Robbie? for a girl? my name?
i am a normal girl (except for my abnormal name). i do what normal girls do (except having a name Robbie). i play with dolls, pretend to be a princess, act like a princess. i daydream a lot. well, i also helped with the household chores, of course. i wash the dishes and make my bed. i fix my room once a week and other rooms in the house once a month.
i watch tv a lot, draw pictures and read fictional stories that are either about vampires or about witches. i also chat on the phone for hours with my friends and i have a boy crush like every girl in school. of course, i won't tell who he is. but he's really cute. <*blush*>
see, i'm a very normal, typical girl. so why am i cursed with a name Robbie? why not samantha or bianca or maybe kate? hey, i like kate. kate's a very nice name.
finally one night, i can't take it anymore. i have to know. i must know... so i went to my dad's laboratory and saw him with my mom mixing some kind of blue liquid with a green one. i approached them. they smiled at me and asked, "what's the matter dear? you look quite upset."
and so, i suddenly blurted it all out almost crying. why the hell they gave me a name of Robbie? why not a more girly name like kate ( )? what were they thinking when they decided to give me that name? were they thinking of anything at all? and then i ended my litany with a sigh...
the answer? "you're a robot, dear. we can't think of a more playful name to give you for there were so many of you when we made you. i guess we run out of names when its already your turn. i remember you were robot number 716. we are very sorry, sweetie. would you like your name changed?"
i just nodded. they changed my name into kate. and from then on, i did not ask any more stupid questions from them. i just kept them to myself.

~~~

“larger than life” or smaller. reality, this world, is larger than life. yet too small for me, for you, for me and you.

29 June 2007

status: employed

i am employed in my second company for 7 months now. plus 6 months from my previous “stepping-stone-just-wanna-get-work-experience-first” company, where i found some sweets in secret corners.

i’m ok. learning and unlearning every single day. enjoying and hating each moment of my “grown-up” life.

years ago, during my high school years, i wrote something out of boredom in class. it’s suppose to be “corny-funny”. i “published” it online on my first self-made blog during college. must have been freshmen years when “blogging” is the new “in” thing. that was my second to the last entry before i “re-structured” it in another space in the cyber world, here.

weeks ago, my boss accidentally came across that site. thought it was extinct, obviously not. thought he just found my site “cute” and didn’t bother with it. apparently not (again) coz he read that writing of mine. (i’m not really sure how to call it so i’ll just refer to it as my writing). it was that crap above, titled “a question..”.

yesterday, when he handed me the minutes of the meeting he edited, i read beside my name, “robie”. i asked him who robie is. he just smiled and teased me to guess. he gave a clue, A.I (Artificial Intelligence, the movie). then i remembered he came across my site and i remembered my ol’ crap. i remembered... stuff.

funny. what a small large world this is.

Trivia:

i’ve forgotten how to use this damn thing. must have hibernated too long.
nope. not yet awake. i’m in between sleeping and waking.

want some sweet?

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 05:45:49 GMT

THAT dessert

THAT was good.

as the ice cream melts on our tongue

savoring the sweetness of uncovered gallon of desire.

stealing glances left and right

looking for someone who might join

wishing there was NONE.

for it is ours

and for OURS ONLY to share

the creamy goodness

of uncovered gallon of desire.

you got the spoon

then we opened the blue plastic container

digging in -- giggling

realizing what we're doing --

hiding in a closet of fabrics

few shining artificial stars

witnessing this rendezvous

of children hastily eating stolen ice cream

savoring the sweetness

of uncovered gallon of desire

praying Mommy won't catch us.

-hot and fresh from the oven in my skull,

rhanriey

(dalaw ng musa sa wakas)

i'm so in love...

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 01:05:34 GMT

finally! after the (pro)long(ed) suspension, i got him. he's with me and we'll be together always. My new boyfriend!

last saturday, after my very boring seminar-slash-theology-class in the morning and a very stressing-thanks-to-one-person afternoon, my mom and i went to cyberzone to pay him a visit and literally pay for him to kiss and own him.. it started as a good evening, though the mall is, as usual, jampacked; then ended up being stranded in jollibee-welcome for more than two hours due to (really) heavy rain. thank goodness we're in an airconditioned place and there's easy access to food. anyway, i got him with me. and i'm happy and contended.

i love you baby, my new Nokia N70! mwah!

nightmare before christmas

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 04:20:50 GMT

credits: www.guba.com

easy...

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 00:03:22 GMT

ever heard of the Filipino saying, "Huwag mong masyadong ingatan, baka mawala sa'yo"? i didn't understand it's meaning then, but now i do. experience really is the best teacher.

it's when we hold on to someone/somebody so much, we tend to forget (s)he has a life of his/her own. it's crazy when that happens but we don't realize till it's too late. an sms message from a friend says: "people say that we don't know what we have till it's gone; but really, we know what we have, we just don't know it'll be gone..." from one end of the line, the overprotective, from the other, the overprotected. who will suffer more?

mission (almost) accomplished!

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 04:15:17 GMT

yeyeyeah! i've (almost) finished it.

i found lo's portfolio really nice and i'm checking out this site made in tripod so i thought of making myself a personal website. well, sort of. it's just a storeroom of my "works", my poetry and digital arts. and since i'm free for two days, i decided to cure my boredom by layouting a website. i had fun. and i felt accomplished. all i have to do is start stacking up my trash.

here it is: muse's whispers (http://rhanriey.tripod.com)

by the way, since it's already uploaded, it now searchable in some search engines. woohoo!

handwriting analysis

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 05:55:35 GMT

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

sense of fulfillment

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 00:08:11 GMT

"you've lived your life to the fullest if you've done these in your lifetime: plant a tree, write a book, raise a child."

or something like that. i can't remember who said it and from what book i got it, but certainly, i've heard/learned it from our first year Literature class. our professor even commented that so far, in the Philippines, Filipinos have only excelled in raising a child (not even! making children, more like.). i agreed. who can claim, in this country, that they've done all three? one in a million perhaps. actually, as i remember it, it only said that you have to have done at least one of the three. c'mon! the third one is so easy, sometimes it happens without wanting it. so it's three for me and i'll be fulfilled.

so far, i've done 0 out of 3.

from the course i've finished, writing a book is really a goal. half (if not all) of my fellow "Journalists" do want to have a book someday with their names as author, written in bold letters (or other font) on the (hard bound) cover. this is my dream and i'm gonna fulfill this! (yeah! )

raising a child is a huge question mark for me. okay, i love children and i love acting like one. but raising one (or two or three)? um... yes, i will. three years from now. and i want 'em as cute as i was when i was a kid. (i said when i WAS a KID. okay?) and i want at least three. what's with three in this entry? ooh. like that rhyme. wait! i suddenly remembered something.. he has a funny story. he's not young anymore but for him, "first love never dies" (insert background music here) (fade). he wasn't able to marry the girl he really loved then (this is ages ago, guys) because he got another girl pregnant. being responsible and "practical" (according to him), he married the preggy girl. yet he continued to love the "first".. till now.. though the "first" is also married and has children now, they still communicate. his wife has knowledge about this (which makes him over protected). this isn't infidelity on the part of the guy. he raised his family well and tried to love his wife. it's just a sad story of "i wish.." and "what if's". he's happy with his family but not entirely.. **another story. a story of a girl i'm so proud of. a friend of mine got pregnant at an early age. unlike other irresponsible youth, she (with her "husband") took the baby as a blessing and did not resort to abortion. she carried her child for nine months while studying and finished college (she did not stop). now, she's taking up law school while raising her baby girl. proud mama!

when i was a kid and staying at my grandparents' house (it's like a day-care center where all of us kids were left by our parents when they go to work), i "planted" a mango seed. i planted it straight from eating without drying it first so nothing amazing happened. except my uncle laughed at me coz i planted it right next to our house. very near our house. and i watered it diligently, everyday. but of course as i said, nothing happened. my uncle made me realize later on that had it grown, it would either wreck the side of our house (that side is only made of light wood, just a shed house) or it will not grow at all. he was pleased with the effort though. at that time, my potential to be an introvert and autistic is starting to surface. instead of playing with my cousins, i played with "my plant". haha! a few months after that, i'm on it again. this time it's a calamansi seed. same effort (and mistake, though i planted it a little farther). nothing happened. oh well.. i got introduced to nonstop computer gaming afterwards (with my boy cousins).

i don't know what made me remember these just this morning. i was only about to write... oh yeah! i finished something nice and artsy yesterday. i've no work so i stayed home and do something "creative". my mom told me to watch something on the tube or read a book (wow! before, she always tells me to lay off the book i'm holding under my nose) instead of headbanging while i'm laying on the bed (imagine that! ha!). i'm not in the mood of doing either so i spread my materials on my bed (it was messy) and started on anything. i was able to finish an old-english-designed lettering of my name and paste it on a board. it's black and gold and looks really nice (for me). i was satisfied. i'll try to take a pic of it sometime and post it here or somewhere.

that's all, folks!

lists.. i love lists..

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 07:24:59 GMT

got this from my bes' site...

"I've have lived 62 out of these 99 things."

[1] I have read a book before. - c'mon! this is my life!
[] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. - i wish. but nah!
[] I have been to Canada.
[2] I have been on some sort of sports team. -P.E. counts, right?
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours before. -and hours and hours! marathon as in.
[4] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[5] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. - believe it or not!
[] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[] I have played ping pong.
[6] I swam in the ocean. - suddenly remembered something naughty...
[] I have been on a whale watch.
[7] I have seen fireworks. - kung Thomasian ka malamang!
[8] I have seen a shooting star. - a long, long time ago..
[] I have seen a meteor shower. - tulog ako nung nagkaron.
[9] I have almost drowned. - at swimming lessons ito..
[10] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. - kakanyari lang ata nito..
[11] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again. - lalo na kung tamad kang palitan ang cd.
[] I have had stitch(es).
[] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there. -may ganito ba sa Pinas?
[] I have stayed up til 6am doing homework / projects. - surprisingly, i didn't even if i had to during college. antukin ako promise.
[12] I currently have a job. - yey!
[] I have been ice skating.
[13] I have been rollerblading. - and i sucked!
[14] I have fallen flat on my face.
[15] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[] I have been in a fist fight.
[16] I have played videogames/com for more than 3 hours straight. - nyaha! when we were kids kain at tulog lang pahinga!
[17] I have watched The Power Rangers before. - and i enjoyed it. hehe.
[18] I do / have attended Church regularly. - nung bata ako.
[19] I have played truth or dare. - sinong hindi?
[20] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[21] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[22] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[23] I've been in a verbal argument.
[24] I've cried in school.
[] I've played basketball on a team.
[25] I've played softball on a team. - P.E. counts!
[] I've played football on a team.
[] I've played soccer on a team.
[26] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[] I've swam on a team.
[27] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life. - hindi na nga lang lately. miss swimming..
[] I've bungee jumped.
[] I've climbed a rock wall before.
[28] I've lost more than $20. - in pesos, of course.
[29] I've called myself an idiot. - lots of times
[30] I've called someone else an idiot. - not more than i've called myself
[31] I've cried myself to sleep. - madalas..
[32] I've had (or have) pets. - wah! i miss my rabbits suddenly..
[33] I've owned a Spice Girls cd. and or tape. - aminin!
[] I've owned a Britney Spears cd.
[] I've owned an N*Sync cd.
[34] I've owned a Backstreet Boys cd. - been a fan when i was in 1st year HS
[] I've mooned* someone.
[] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[35] I've been in the schoolnewspaper / insights. - single stint. um, journ pala ako.
[] I've been on TV.
[36] I've eaten sushi. - and got sick of it after it became my menu for a week. blech!
[] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[37] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies. - yum!
[38] I've watched the 3 Stooges at least once. - and i didn't think it was funny.
[] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[39] I've watched Looney Tunes before. - and Baby Looney Tunes too!
[] I've been stuffed into a locker
[40] I've been called a geek. - and bookworm during HS.
[41] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. - so typical!
[42] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it. - as typical as [41]!
[43] I've met a celebrity / music / TV artist.
[44] I've written poetry. - rhanriey does and sometimes i do too..
[] I've been arrested
[45] I've been attracted to someone much older than me. - waaayy much older than me. hahahaha! can't help it! he's devilishly charming!
[46] I've been tickled till I've cried - it was fun but i hated it. i almost got asthma attack.
[47] I've tickled someone else until they cried. - of course this is much fun. harhar!
[] I've had / have siblings
[] I've been to a rock concert
[48] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it. - i really did!
[49] I've been in a play. - kung AB ka parte yan ng buhay mo..
[] I've been picked last in gym class
[] I've been picked first in gym class or so
[50] Ive been picked in that middle-range in gym class.- more like we stick together and had our own grouping.. and ignored the teacher.
[51] I've cried in front of my friends. - i have nowhere to hide inside the school..
[52] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages. - yum!
[] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[53] I've vomited in public
[54] I've washed someone else's vomit
[] I've ran away
[55] I've had a stalker. - scared the hell of my friends!
[56] I've had a fight with someone on txt. - and broke-up too.. well, sorta..
[57] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[] I've been on a car accident
[58] I've forgiven someone who has done something bad to me. - lagi naman eh..
[59] I've personally seen someone die. - when i was a kid.. but i didn't realize it then..
[60] I've been confronted by a police officer but got away.
[61] I've lost someone who meant the world to me. - physically and emotionally..
[] I've had crashed a a party
[62] I've been a member of a school office
[] I've been suspend in school

*Mooning is the act of displaying one's bare buttocks by lowering the back side of one's trousers and underpants, usually without exposing the genitals. Mooning is used in some cultures to express protest, scorn, disrespect, or provocation. It can also be done for shock value or fun. Moon was a common shape-metaphore for the butt in English since 1756, and the verb to moon meant 'to expose to (moon)light' since 1601, long before they were combined in US student slang in the verb(al expression) mooning "to flash the buttocks" in 1968. Formerly, mooning was slang for "wandering idly" and "romantically pining". (wikipedia.com)

the list goes on...

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 02:43:11 GMT

survey from: camz

Instructions: Name ten of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten people to do the same.

my mom: i am a self-confessed mama's girl. so naturally she goes first on my list. been bad to her lately (umm, okay a lot of times). and i deeply regret hurting her feelings. words can never express this but, i love her more than i love anyone (or myself) in the planet. afterall, i literally owe my life to her. imagine carrying a human being in your tummy for nine months and single-handedly raising a spoiled brat. that's something..

my room: yep. i'm an introvert and semi-autistic. i love to create worlds of my own. and where else can i build 'em to my leisure? my wonderful world, my room. it's not big or grand. it's just a room. with all my stuff scattered everywhere in a semi-neat manner. my bed, pillows and player, my ride towards dreamland and the worlds i create for myself..

my work: it's not a high-paying job. in fact, it's very low. i like it because i love the people surrounding me. not all but quite a lot. i "grew up" here so i'm very comfortable. and this is my stepping stone towards my other plans. MBA course requires at least two years work experience so i'm here. and people (here) insist that i work for them. besides, here is where i find my next simple pleasure..

him: *sigh* been my inspiration since i started with this job. i was reluctant to take this job at first because i wanted to see other sceneries, open other avenues, be in another world, outside my security blanket. but.. (see my work) and then comes my knight in shining armor. actually, in a white (doctors') lab gown. seeing his smile and the twinkle in his eyes (and sometimes his dulcet song of a laughter) made my work seem lighter everyday..

books: i consider them by bestfriends.. my ticket to other dimensions aside from the ones i create. the characters? my companions. the plot and setting? reality for a moment.

my few close friends: being an introvert and semi-autistic at the same time, i cannot claim to have a lot of friends. i have a few and i love them. i treasure them and the friendship we have.

my shoes: i'm a girl, by the way.

good weather: i love rainy days. it's cold and the atmosphere is very relaxing and nostalgic. but i hate if it gets too heavy and becomes a calamity. i love to stay at home but i don't like being selfish. (hmm.. is this a sign of maturity?) besides, it's irritating when i get mud on my shoes and ankles from walking outside. i love wearing sandals pa naman. oh yeah! i hate it when it's hot. makes my skin itchy and gives me headache. so my good weather is a cool weather without heavy rain. cheers!

sweets: c'mon! who doesn't? been craving for ice cream almost every after meal. even before meals. um, yeah. been like this since i was a kid. i love ice cream! hooray for ice cream!

internet: Cyberspace is the capital of Cooldom. makes my life less stressful and saves me from Boredom anytime..

* free (300) cellphone load: i only get this once in a while. but i'm loving it anyway..

few days from now, this list will become 12 coz i hope to add: my new phone! (fingers crossed fingers crossed)

i choose 10 people (or more) who want to answer this. hehe.